As with all forms of violence, child to parent violence requires secrecy in order to continue. While it can be extremely difficult for parents/carers to reach out for help, it is a vital first step in taking control of the situation.
For many reasons, most abused parents/carers have difficulty admitting, even to themselves, that their child is abusive. They can feel ashamed and disappointed, sometimes blaming themselves for the situation, which has led to this imbalance of power. Parents rarely speak of the violence as the issue to begin with. Instead they say things like:
“My child is out of control”
“My child is ruling the roost”
“My child has behavioural difficulties”
“I can’t control my child”
“My child won’t listen to me”
It is usually through an exploration of these statements that the violence is discovered.
If you are experiencing child to parent violence, know that you are not alone. While exact figures are difficult to obtain, we do know that there has been a dramatic increase in the number of families presenting with this issue.
You may have previously tried to get your child to engage with a service or even multiple services, perhaps they did engage but were not truthful in their presentations with their practitioners. None of this is an issue when we are using NVR to deal with the violence. NVR focuses on the parent and does not require the young persons engagement. Instead it will empower you and give you skills to reduce the violence and build a better relationship with your child.