Like many of you, I have been watching the recent #blacklivesmatter protests in the USA with a sad heart. I noticed how some protests remained peaceful and impactful yet others turned into violence and riots. Why was this? What was the ingredient which, in some cases, caused kindness to turn to hostility?
I am sure there are many variables at play here; years and years of built up angst and anger for a start. However, I noted that each county police department met the protestors in two distinct ways. Either they (a) met the protestors anger with anger or they (b) met the protestors anger with love and compassion. Let me be clear here; I am not asserting that the protestors met by police in the latter remained peaceful and the former turner to violence, I cannot know this for each and every case. However, I do believe that it may have played a part in diffusing what were highly charged situations.
Watching the police respond with love and compassion I am reminded of Non Violent Resistance (NVR) in dealing with the issue of Child to Parent Violence (CPV). It makes complete sense that I am linking NVR to the protests. After all, NVR’s roots can be found in the likes of Martin Luther King, a civil rights leader who advocated non violence and resistance. Reducing conflict by meeting it with love and strength rather than with anger is a core concept on NVR when dealing with CPV. As any NVR coach will tell you, an escalated adult cannot deescalate an escalated child.
These protests give a clear example of how NVR can work on a macro level. But it also works on the micro level. NVR parenting has been proven to address the issue of CPV and reduce conflict within the relationship. If you are a parent/career with a violent or aggressive child, please contact me. I can help. If you are a practitioner working with families dealing with this issue, please contact me. I can help.
One of the devastating fallouts of living with child to parent violence/abuse, in the often very fractured relationships, between parent and child. Communication, if any at all, is usually tense and laced with anger and Read more…