If you are a parent experiencing Child to Parent Violence (CPV), social workers or other professionals may have used the term ‘intervention’ in their conversations with you when discussing help and support options. In today’s blog I wanted to talk more about what an intervention actually is and in particular what type of intervention Non Violent Resistance (NVR) is.
What is an intervention?
The definition of an intervention is “something that comes between two things or something that changes the course of something”. In the context of CPV and NVR then, NVR is the intervention used to change the course of CPV. Put simply NVR is a tool intended to stop CPV.
What type of intervention is Non Violent Resistance (NVR)?
There are a variety of different types of interventions such as early, crisis, classical and family to name but a few. While Child to Parent Violence (CPV) may be seen as a crisis intervention, NVR coaches work in a solution focused approach. NVR is a solution focused intervention.
Solution focused practice and NVR
What is solution focused practice and how does it apply to NVR?
Solution focused practice is future focused rather than seeking root causes. This means that your NVR coach will not spend too much time seeking answers as to why your child became violent and/or abusive, but rather they will focus on giving you new skills to move forward with.
It is based on defining very clear and precise goals which then become the focus of the intervention. This means that your NVR coach will guide you in naming very specific behaviours displayed by your child, which together you will work towards eradicating.
It focuses on solutions rather than the problem itself. This means that your NVR coach will train you to respond to violent and/or abusive behaviours in a de-escalating way. They will discuss how you react to incidents much more than they will discuss what may have triggered a violent incident. NVR coaches will validate and acknowledge your feelings and problems while encouraging you to move forward.
The NVR coach will look for exceptions to the problem and believes that the problem is best viewed through the lens of what is already working. You may think nothing is working but I promise you: something is! They believe that the parent is the expert in their own lives and have managed the situation to a certain point and will seek insight from the parent in this regard. They will invite you to do more of what is working. They will empower you and coach you in becoming comfortable stepping back into your role of a present parent
While the NVR coach believes the parent is the expert in their lives and in the problem of CPV within their family, the coach is an expert in the NVR intervention and CPV. Working together in this way is instrumental in bringing about change.
Please contact me for further details on how NVR can help you. During these times of social distancing, I am offering sessions via video conferencing. As always, the first 30-minute consultation session is free.
One of the devastating fallouts of living with child to parent violence/abuse, in the often very fractured relationships, between parent and child. Communication, if any at all, is usually tense and laced with anger and Read more…